Top 10 things you say as a parent that you never thought you’d say on a regular basis

Top 10 things you say as a parent that you never thought you’d say on a regular basis

10.  “Do you have to go potty?”

9.  “Did you wash your hands?”  Or pretty much any bathroom talk because before having kids— it was never a topic of conversation (for most of us).

8.  Not the F-word, S-word, B-word or A-words, for obvious reasons.  (Or your profanity of choice).

7.  Replacement words for the above. 

            Examples include: 

  • Forget you, thank you Ceelo Greene for making that cool for us parents
  • Sugar, Shabby or my personal favorite “Shut the front door!”
  • Beeyach, thanks for that contribution Snoop, although I do not believe that is the accepted vernacular for preschoolers, maybe your teens?

Biscuits (or son(s) of)

Bass fishing heaven, Bungalow (Yes, now I’m making stuff up, and you can too for just 39.95$)

  • Arse, Apple sauce, you get the idea and no, I’ve never called anyone apple sauce in exclamation. 

I’m sure you’ve developed your own, don’t use these words, or don’t know have a filter.  Recently, I witnessed a 5-year old girl screaming the S-word when something of hers fell in the dirt.  We were at the park (me and my boys) luckily they weren’t paying attention to her.  She said it in front of her grandparents.  Awesome, thanks Gramps!

6.  “Only after you eat a nice dinner.” This is a tough one to swallow, because I didn’t eat my veggies but won’t commit to dessert until he eats his.

 5.  “In a little bit.” Not totally getting the concept of time yet, we just want these kids to be patient.  AJ will counter with “IN A BIG BIT!”

4.  “Give Daddy a kiss.” In any other context referring to one’s self in the 3rd person is quite lame. 

3.  “Just try it, how do you know you don’t like it if you haven’t tried it?”  He’ll dip grapes in barbecue sauce but won’t try potatoes??

 2.  “What’s the magic word?” Actually there are 2.  Mom ‘n’ Dad, would you please make up your mind as to what the magic word is? Thank you!

1.  Poop or variation thereof.  For example,  “Did you poop?” “Are you poopy?” “Do you have to go poop?” Etc… I hate that word too.  Alex would call me out on that statement saying “Don’t say hate Daddy! That’s a bad word!”  Where at age 3, did he learn to furrow his brow and wag a pointing finger at me?  He practices that also as chief of the Bless you police!

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3 Responses to Top 10 things you say as a parent that you never thought you’d say on a regular basis

  1. Chris says:

    My favorite for number 7 is: “Ahhh Your sister’s moustache!!”

    I never heard this as a kid, but apparently Christine’s dad used it quite often. I have become a fan of the phrase as well. It’s insulting and clean! That’s funny right there, I don’t care who you are.

  2. 3A0gL35dOhE says:

    I want to post quick hello and want to say appriciate for this good article. sawHWHPaBLpBDG

  3. julie murphy says:

    Hilarious! I love your blog

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